Many of us think of self-care in terms of nurturing strategies like bubble baths and massages. A ‘quick-fix’ technique to undo the stress, worry and tension that has accumulated. While these strategies may work temporarily, they cannot prevent us from reacting to the triggers that overwhelm us.
What is self-care?
The best form of self-care is more about prevention than intervention. Intervention refers to our reaction to what has happened – a fight with a loved one, unrealistic work deadlines or expectations, unaffordable bills. We often react to these situations with anger & hostility – whether we verbalise this or not it is still a negative reaction we let affect us. We tend to either blame others or fall into the victim role with thoughts like “why does this always happen to me” etc. In order to cope, we turn to stress-relieving activities or addictions. Either way, neither of these options are able to stop the situation from arising in the first place. But there is a way.
Prevention has to do with setting ourselves up for success by shaping our reaction before we have the experience. It involves respecting ourselves enough to make healthy choices more often then we make unhealthy ones. It’s about lifestyle, consistency and commitment. By committing to prevention we can learn to take care of our whole being (body, mind, soul & emotions). It’s about taking time out before we respond, choosing our words carefully and being mindful of how our actions honour not only ourselves but everyone involved.
Ultimately, is about how we treat ourselves, the actions we take to care for ourselves, the thoughts we have, and how we feel about ourselves.
Self care includes: Getting enough, good-quality sleep each night (6-8 hours) Moving your body regularly (walking, working out etc) Maintaining a positive outlook on life (through daily mantra, meditation and positive affirmations)
How does your attitude affect your self-worth?
When you start to explore your attitude and thoughts, that’s when you start to see that you (not others, not your circumstances) have the ultimate power in turning what you want, into what you have.
Think of your attitude as your overall approach to life. Some people have a positive attitude and can find the light in the darkest of situations. Others with a negative attitude may find it hard to find the positives in any situation.
Thoughts include what you think about yourself, others and the world around you. They are shaped by your underlying beliefs and your overall attitude. When you have recurring thoughts, they become thought patterns that drive what we say and do. We can learn to retrain ourselves to have a more positive attitude by simply starting to notice our reactions to situations as they come up then consciously choosing more positive thoughts. Here’s some suggestions on how to harness positivity: Write down thoughts you have about yourself and others in reaction to a stressful situation. Once you do this enough, you might start to see some of the patterns you have. Ask the people closest to you if they generally find your attitude towards situation either positive or negative. That way, you can gather insights on what a positive and negative reaction looks like to you.
Try to break the cycle of your negative thoughts by replacing them with positive thoughts. Eventually you will eradicate negative thoughts and be able to embrace life with endless positivity.
In order to adopt a healthy self-care practice, these are the areas you need to focus on:
Service – when you give, you also receive. Make this a daily practice to yourself, your family, friends and community. What can you do to make someone else’s day a little brighter? By helping others, you are ultimately helping yourself.
Surroundings – this is the bridge between your outer world and inner world. Your environment reflects the state of your inner wellbeing. Notice your home and work environments to see if they reflect the ‘grandest vision and greatest version’ of yourself and your dreams. If they don’t, take steps to organise and beautify your space.
Support – an extension of your physical environment is who you surround yourself with. Jim Rohn said that “you are the average of 5 people you spend most time with”. Do those people support you and who you are becoming? Do your best to limit time with those who don't.
Systems – in order to be most efficient and effective with your time you must have things in place that allow for productivity, while designating time for the people and things you love. Pay attention to what works for you and what doesn’t. Develop a schedule and stick to it. Happiness is a by-product of living efficiently.
Responsibility – you can’t delegate self-care. Your self-care is what recharges, refuels, relaxes, restores and nurtures you. When you take care of yourself, you have much more energy and vitality to do your service and work. There are many components to self-care, such as: – Personal & spiritual growth practices – Health practices such as nutrition, exercise, sleep and rest – Personal enrichment and learning – Leisure time for fun, adventure & hobbies – Social time for friends & family – Romantic and intimate time with partner, sensual and sexual pleasure – Self-indulgence – exploring your passion. That thing you do that brings you pure joy and bliss, that you love with all of your heart. When you do it, you completely lose yourself in it – time stands still. Something that is just for you. It is usually a creative expression such as singing, dancing, painting or any form of art. It can also manifest as an activity such as yoga, sailing, swimming, hiking etc. Whatever it is, it’s important to designate time every week for these activities.
Make time for yourself – don’t underestimate the power of rest & relaxation. It’s often the first thing to be neglected although the most important of all.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the trap of juggling life, errands, fitness, families, business etc. Start with the basic checklist… Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating a balanced, healthy diet? Are you exercising regularly? Are you having fun? Are you taking time to rest and relax? Put a plan in place to ensure you are ticking all of these boxes.
Self-care is about taking the time to look after yourself regularly with a long term plan.
Consistency is key. This may mean you need to make a complete lifestyle change or it may mean improving on some of your regular habits. If you want to transform your life, you need to place yourself as top priority – no matter how busy your life is.